My Approach

Therapy pays attention to the most hidden and unknown parts of the self. I am curious about the deeper meaning of your difficulties and where they might have originated. My culturally-informed psychoanalytic training and orientation helps me pay attention to the unconscious mental processes behind your thinking and behavior.

Together, we explore the thoughts, beliefs, fantasies, dreams, relationship patterns and socio-cultural contexts that influence your everyday life. Your childhood, family history and painful past experiences are all taken into account as a part of who you are as a subjective being in the world, rather than your diagnosis or observable symptoms.

You might think the past is in the past, it can’t be changed so why dwell on it? I believe that on the contrary, the past is always changing because we are always changing how we look at it and the meanings we assign certain events in our lives.

Therapy offers a space for you to speak freely, directly, and openly about whatever comes to mind, uncensored. In today’s world, having a place free from distraction, where one can think clearly, is a value in itself. As social beings, we tend to silence and avoid unacceptable thoughts, wishes, and anything else that would bring about painful feelings like shame, guilt, and rage. One of the goals of therapy is to expand what is okay to say out loud. There is no “right way” to be in the world.

Although suffering is part of the human condition, it is certainly possible to relate to it differently. As you speak, you can unravel the various “knots” in your mind that created the conditions that keep you feeling stuck. These knots are made up of repeated dilemmas, impasses, and conflicts that get communicated through inexplicable pain and psychological symptoms. As we put these difficult-to-name experiences into words and acquire new insights about them, we can greatly reduce the power these experiences have over our lives.

Change happens when we take greater responsibility for how we want to live. Among other things, you may find that the way you dealt with problems in the past is no longer serving you now, and that a fundamental change is necessary in your life in order to grow. Therapy can help you identify the crucial decisions that will shape your path moving forward into the future. It is the task of assuming authority over your life.

Change can’t happen without taking a risk. There are no guarantees in life. Yet staying stuck in the same place is extremely costly. Therapy invites you to face your fears and step into the unknown, for this is your only opportunity to create something new in your life.

This approach is a good fit for people who favor treatments that go beyond acquiring skills and support to cope with immediate problems. It may take a longer time, but it is certainly not meant to go on without an end in sight.

For more information on my approach, read What is Psychoanalytic Therapy?

Specialization in Cross-Cultural Family Relationship Issues

I have extensive experience working with Asian American adult children of immigrants who are suffering from the impact of painful conflicts within their family of origin that lead to separation, emotional distance, deep resentment or estrangement. You may experience chronic guilt, shame, and imposter syndrome, despite the fact you’re doing well on paper. Despite wanting to live your own life, painful experiences from your earliest relationships cast a dark shadow on your thoughts and decisions. This can make it very difficult to form close, trusting relationships.

In therapy we speak about the role of cultural expectations and beliefs, parental pressures, gender and sexuality, silence and shame around mental illness, wealth/class status. We examine how your earliest relationships shape how you relate to others and yourself.

Other Specialties:

• LGBTQ, sex-positive. Exploration of one’s gender and sexuality, nonbinary/ transgender experiences

• Women who are struggling to balance their lives between their role as a mother/partner and a demanding career.

• Dating, love, romance

• Self doubt, perfectionism, self-esteem

• Decision paralysis, avoidance and procrastination

• Working through traumatic events and memories

• Disordered eating and addictive tendencies

• Mourning, anxiety, persistent sadness, worry or guilt

• Infertility, perinatal wellbeing, and complicated feelings about being a mother or parent